I really identify with the central thesis of your post, and the list of examples of things that only make sense (dumping int into something) within the narrow silo of the game are spot on. I regret that I have so many memories in my youth of games, that can only ever mean something to me. Even other people who played those games don't care about your average gamer memory. You can play the most interesting game in the world, and no one cares to hear a retelling of what you were doing. A simple story about seeing an owl when you were at a campfire is 100x more interesting than trying to tell someone who plays counter-strike, how you won a game of counter-strike.
Leisure is good, and games are their own justification - in heaven, we’re all probably playing games with each other. In this world, the problem is when the game becomes the dominant thing in your mind at the expense of greater goods, rather than a nice way to spend free time. This is a difficult balance to strike.
At least Elden Ring happens to be a very good game. I shake my head at friends who play League of Legends - one because it’s not just one or two hours, but every minute not working is spent playing it, and two, because they all seem to HATE IT. They actively despise the game but can’t get off it. This is a problem.
Brother you gotta level vigor the draconic tree sentinel should not be one shotting you at this stage of the game.
In all seriousness, this is a great piece of writing and I feel it deeply, especially as it relates to bad games (like RDR2) that you still sink hours into, but I do feel like it’s giving games as an art form kind of a short shrift. Do you not think Elden Ring (or Metal Gear Solid, or Cruelty Squad, or Papers, Please or Norco or etc. etc.) offers an intellectually/creatively meaningful, thematically deep experience? It might not be Dostoyevsky, but I think Elden Ring is certainly a better, more enriching experience than reading, like, a Jonathan Franzen novel.
Ha yeah my Vig was way neglected when I wrote this. No it’s true, games can be intellectually stimulating and I got a ton from play Elden Ring and ended up writing a whole series taking seriously their themes. This essay was just a different angle. I love Papers Please!
I think the total-focus aspect of games is a good insight and a rarely discussed one at that. While only books can get me to that level of immersion, nothing compares to the level of agency a player is given within a virtual world. It's magic. But as someone else commented, the experiences in these worlds are barely relatable - even for gamer peers. Then again... the lack of relatability is the same for movies and books. Solitary experiences.
Games have a warm place in my heart, but I got more busy, and developed higher standards over time. Most games don't interest me now. But pieces like this always put a smile on my face :)
I stopped playing video games this year. For the last few years they've been less and less interesting to me. And find my self on a weird loop trying to find the perfect game to fill the void I'm feeling. I search find something that will definitely fix me, buy, install, play, feel unfulfilled, and repeat.
The void is made by not writing or reading or playing ttrpgs. So I decided I'd just uninstall all the video games on my pc and see what happens.
I write more. And read more. And watch movies.
I'm kinda sad that games no longer make me happy. They were so important for so long. But maybe one day they'll fit in somewhere again.
I loved this piece! As a gamer and a reader, I know how consuming games can be. And I loved what you said about the knowledge you acquire in games to be kind of useless, since it only refers back to itself.
There is a solution, however! Play games that broaden your kind as books do! Games that have something to say about our world, about who we are, like good literature does. Elden Ring is a fantastic game that I loved playing, but I can’t say it’s enriched my life in the way that you seem to be seeking. Disco Elysium, however - that is a profound work of art that I still contemplate to this day. It speaks to our world, not just its own.
Great essay, I remember that tree sentinel well, I had to go level up more and come back to beat him. I have the best podcast episode on Elden Ring you’ll ever hear, if you’re interested
This is an insightful and powerful essay. I thank you for it. Video games have made me motion sick since the mid 1990s, when the graphics got a great deal better. I now know I dodged a bullet. I hope you are able to free yourself of the addiction, which sounds as bad as any drug, gambling, or sex addiction ever was. I wish blessings upon you. May you use your tremendous insights for bigger and better things. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsD3LkfgFVs
I am a musician and years ago I covered an old Irish hymn called Stretched Upon Your Grave. The stems ended up being used in a popular Skyrim mod. I had no idea at all until years later when someone directed me to a link, asking "Is this your voice?" Those of us who are out of the loop of gaming don't get it. It is a foreign land. To this day, I don't understand how anyone could spend so much time playing Skyrim or any other RPG when there are real forests with real trees waiting outside, all with voices who want to speak to us if we are willing to learn how to listen.
"but I found it to be a merciless efficiency puzzle that I was incapable of playing without trying to maximize my profits and use my time as productively as possible."
Ugh, the IRONY. I truly hope you find the willpower to get your life back. The whole world is enchanted, it's just that most of us lost the ability to see it. Here's my occultism for newbies channel on TikTok if you have any interest. Yeah, TikTok is also addictive, but I am trying to do outreach on it because it has a vast audience. http://tiktok.com/@whitewitchoftheprairie
You have inspired me. I write essays here on Substack and you've provided me with a great deal to think about. Again, thank you and bless you.
Thanks for this nice comment Kimberly. You'll be happy to know that in the year since I published this my gaming is down significantly and my reading is way up.
Thank you so much, Danny. I am truly glad to hear it. I think you’re part of a growing trend of people who are rediscovering gratitude for the unplugged world around them. If you keep on adding gratitude in layers for all that you have (and all that most people take for granted), it supplants addictions and diminishes them by its own exponential force. IMHO games are a fine indulgence in moderation if you don’t get motion sick like me. It was pointed out to me that often they are a way of connecting with the game’s artist in the way that reading a story connects you to a book’s author. In my own case, I was never addicted to romance novels, but I can see how they are essentially pornography for women and extremely destructive to committed relationships when read in excess. In a world of endemic etheric starvation, anyone can get addicted to anything. The solution is not to prohibit the drug, porno, games, alcohol, shopping, etc. but to strike at the root and nourish the etheric. I have written many essays about the etheric but a TL:DR of the advice is to get copious sunshine, make and eat home cooked food, breathe deeply, occasionally shower in cold water, get massages, and be compulsively grateful. And of course practice the Apollonian virtue of moderation. Moderation nourishes on the etheric because it is the physical manifestation of balance/the golden mean. As I get older, the term “enjoy responsibly” no longer causes me to cringe and roll my eyes.
I have developed a rule where I only let myself play a game if I've just finished something big. But especially if it's something that doesn't have a visible clock it's crazy easy for me just to sit down with a game and then look up to discover it's three in the morning.
That's a smart way to do it. What's fucked up is I feel like most games are designed to make you lose time like that. It's basically pointless to play Elden Ring for less than an hour. I'm not vibing with it nearly as much as I expected and I think it's because my schedule just doesn't allow that anymore. Makes me think I've never seen anything written about how our generation is navigating such a time-intensive hobby as we become parents
What you're detailing here sounds like an alcoholic buying a bottle of booze wanting to believe he can still handle it but knowing deep down that he can't. I know personally how addictive games can be, and if I were you, I'd sell the computer and get rid of the PlayStation because the temptation to just shirk whatever responsibilities you have and play just seems too great.
Blaming the games isn't constructive though, but I'll concede that games like Elden Ring are catnip for people with addictive personalities. There are plenty of movies, shows, and even books, much less endlessly scrolling on your phone, that are worse in the mindlessness department than a game because at least with a game you're actively engaging with the environment. I've actually learned some valuable life skills playing video games (Sekiro being one of the more recent examples actually,) but I understand that not everyone will take those kinds of lessons from their play time.
This hits close to home. I am totally in the same boat I have this problem solving mind and any game when broken down is just a big puzzle. This kind of mind is nice when you have real world issue, you skip breakfast, lunch, maybe loose sleep once or twice but you get it right and you feel good about yourself. But with games you have problem which could take 40h of grind (and lets be real nobody with job and family can afford that). And whats worse when you finnish the game you dont really feel any happier, its more like drug addiction, you start looking for other one (good thing they stopped making decent games). Dam I wish I could enjoy life without games and internet, but it there is a hole inside that wants to be filled one way or another. I dont know what opened this hole, but until I find how to close it I will always find myself playing some shitty game after shittier day..
I really identify with the central thesis of your post, and the list of examples of things that only make sense (dumping int into something) within the narrow silo of the game are spot on. I regret that I have so many memories in my youth of games, that can only ever mean something to me. Even other people who played those games don't care about your average gamer memory. You can play the most interesting game in the world, and no one cares to hear a retelling of what you were doing. A simple story about seeing an owl when you were at a campfire is 100x more interesting than trying to tell someone who plays counter-strike, how you won a game of counter-strike.
Leisure is good, and games are their own justification - in heaven, we’re all probably playing games with each other. In this world, the problem is when the game becomes the dominant thing in your mind at the expense of greater goods, rather than a nice way to spend free time. This is a difficult balance to strike.
At least Elden Ring happens to be a very good game. I shake my head at friends who play League of Legends - one because it’s not just one or two hours, but every minute not working is spent playing it, and two, because they all seem to HATE IT. They actively despise the game but can’t get off it. This is a problem.
The expansive nature of titles like this is a major turn off for me. Give me a 20-40 hour game. Maybe that’s your methodone.
Brother you gotta level vigor the draconic tree sentinel should not be one shotting you at this stage of the game.
In all seriousness, this is a great piece of writing and I feel it deeply, especially as it relates to bad games (like RDR2) that you still sink hours into, but I do feel like it’s giving games as an art form kind of a short shrift. Do you not think Elden Ring (or Metal Gear Solid, or Cruelty Squad, or Papers, Please or Norco or etc. etc.) offers an intellectually/creatively meaningful, thematically deep experience? It might not be Dostoyevsky, but I think Elden Ring is certainly a better, more enriching experience than reading, like, a Jonathan Franzen novel.
Ha yeah my Vig was way neglected when I wrote this. No it’s true, games can be intellectually stimulating and I got a ton from play Elden Ring and ended up writing a whole series taking seriously their themes. This essay was just a different angle. I love Papers Please!
Great essay, very relatable, thank you.
I think the total-focus aspect of games is a good insight and a rarely discussed one at that. While only books can get me to that level of immersion, nothing compares to the level of agency a player is given within a virtual world. It's magic. But as someone else commented, the experiences in these worlds are barely relatable - even for gamer peers. Then again... the lack of relatability is the same for movies and books. Solitary experiences.
Games have a warm place in my heart, but I got more busy, and developed higher standards over time. Most games don't interest me now. But pieces like this always put a smile on my face :)
I stopped playing video games this year. For the last few years they've been less and less interesting to me. And find my self on a weird loop trying to find the perfect game to fill the void I'm feeling. I search find something that will definitely fix me, buy, install, play, feel unfulfilled, and repeat.
The void is made by not writing or reading or playing ttrpgs. So I decided I'd just uninstall all the video games on my pc and see what happens.
I write more. And read more. And watch movies.
I'm kinda sad that games no longer make me happy. They were so important for so long. But maybe one day they'll fit in somewhere again.
Superb. I couldn’t relate more.
I loved this piece! As a gamer and a reader, I know how consuming games can be. And I loved what you said about the knowledge you acquire in games to be kind of useless, since it only refers back to itself.
There is a solution, however! Play games that broaden your kind as books do! Games that have something to say about our world, about who we are, like good literature does. Elden Ring is a fantastic game that I loved playing, but I can’t say it’s enriched my life in the way that you seem to be seeking. Disco Elysium, however - that is a profound work of art that I still contemplate to this day. It speaks to our world, not just its own.
I can recommend others, if you’re interested!
Thanks so much! Disco Elysium is incredible! Still need to finish it lol
wow yes exactly
Great essay, I remember that tree sentinel well, I had to go level up more and come back to beat him. I have the best podcast episode on Elden Ring you’ll ever hear, if you’re interested
This is an insightful and powerful essay. I thank you for it. Video games have made me motion sick since the mid 1990s, when the graphics got a great deal better. I now know I dodged a bullet. I hope you are able to free yourself of the addiction, which sounds as bad as any drug, gambling, or sex addiction ever was. I wish blessings upon you. May you use your tremendous insights for bigger and better things. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsD3LkfgFVs
I am a musician and years ago I covered an old Irish hymn called Stretched Upon Your Grave. The stems ended up being used in a popular Skyrim mod. I had no idea at all until years later when someone directed me to a link, asking "Is this your voice?" Those of us who are out of the loop of gaming don't get it. It is a foreign land. To this day, I don't understand how anyone could spend so much time playing Skyrim or any other RPG when there are real forests with real trees waiting outside, all with voices who want to speak to us if we are willing to learn how to listen.
"but I found it to be a merciless efficiency puzzle that I was incapable of playing without trying to maximize my profits and use my time as productively as possible."
Ugh, the IRONY. I truly hope you find the willpower to get your life back. The whole world is enchanted, it's just that most of us lost the ability to see it. Here's my occultism for newbies channel on TikTok if you have any interest. Yeah, TikTok is also addictive, but I am trying to do outreach on it because it has a vast audience. http://tiktok.com/@whitewitchoftheprairie
You have inspired me. I write essays here on Substack and you've provided me with a great deal to think about. Again, thank you and bless you.
Thanks for this nice comment Kimberly. You'll be happy to know that in the year since I published this my gaming is down significantly and my reading is way up.
Totally wild that your music ended up in Skyrim!
Thank you so much, Danny. I am truly glad to hear it. I think you’re part of a growing trend of people who are rediscovering gratitude for the unplugged world around them. If you keep on adding gratitude in layers for all that you have (and all that most people take for granted), it supplants addictions and diminishes them by its own exponential force. IMHO games are a fine indulgence in moderation if you don’t get motion sick like me. It was pointed out to me that often they are a way of connecting with the game’s artist in the way that reading a story connects you to a book’s author. In my own case, I was never addicted to romance novels, but I can see how they are essentially pornography for women and extremely destructive to committed relationships when read in excess. In a world of endemic etheric starvation, anyone can get addicted to anything. The solution is not to prohibit the drug, porno, games, alcohol, shopping, etc. but to strike at the root and nourish the etheric. I have written many essays about the etheric but a TL:DR of the advice is to get copious sunshine, make and eat home cooked food, breathe deeply, occasionally shower in cold water, get massages, and be compulsively grateful. And of course practice the Apollonian virtue of moderation. Moderation nourishes on the etheric because it is the physical manifestation of balance/the golden mean. As I get older, the term “enjoy responsibly” no longer causes me to cringe and roll my eyes.
LOL that Skyrim song… it was weird. Proves how out of the loop I am. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEEcAWezwoo
I have developed a rule where I only let myself play a game if I've just finished something big. But especially if it's something that doesn't have a visible clock it's crazy easy for me just to sit down with a game and then look up to discover it's three in the morning.
That's a smart way to do it. What's fucked up is I feel like most games are designed to make you lose time like that. It's basically pointless to play Elden Ring for less than an hour. I'm not vibing with it nearly as much as I expected and I think it's because my schedule just doesn't allow that anymore. Makes me think I've never seen anything written about how our generation is navigating such a time-intensive hobby as we become parents
Level Vigor
What you're detailing here sounds like an alcoholic buying a bottle of booze wanting to believe he can still handle it but knowing deep down that he can't. I know personally how addictive games can be, and if I were you, I'd sell the computer and get rid of the PlayStation because the temptation to just shirk whatever responsibilities you have and play just seems too great.
Blaming the games isn't constructive though, but I'll concede that games like Elden Ring are catnip for people with addictive personalities. There are plenty of movies, shows, and even books, much less endlessly scrolling on your phone, that are worse in the mindlessness department than a game because at least with a game you're actively engaging with the environment. I've actually learned some valuable life skills playing video games (Sekiro being one of the more recent examples actually,) but I understand that not everyone will take those kinds of lessons from their play time.
https://x.com/owenbroadcast/status/1288932593199656960?lang=en
🎯
This hits close to home. I am totally in the same boat I have this problem solving mind and any game when broken down is just a big puzzle. This kind of mind is nice when you have real world issue, you skip breakfast, lunch, maybe loose sleep once or twice but you get it right and you feel good about yourself. But with games you have problem which could take 40h of grind (and lets be real nobody with job and family can afford that). And whats worse when you finnish the game you dont really feel any happier, its more like drug addiction, you start looking for other one (good thing they stopped making decent games). Dam I wish I could enjoy life without games and internet, but it there is a hole inside that wants to be filled one way or another. I dont know what opened this hole, but until I find how to close it I will always find myself playing some shitty game after shittier day..